The New Wigger Plague? Maybe.
Your first question might be, what is a Guido? If you think I'm refering to your typical Italian immigrant you are wrong. I am far too non-racist to ever call an Italian a Guido, after all I'd be calling myself one as well.
The Modern Day Guido that is plaguing the New York/New Jersey Tri-state area and starting to catch wind in Connecticut, is what I will call 'The New Wigger Plague'.
Background:
In the late 90's the term 'wigger' was coined.
Definition: A male caucasion, usually born and raised in the suburbs that displays a strong desire to emulate African American Hip Hop culture and style through "bling" fashion and generally accepted "thug life" guiding principles. (Urban Dictionary)
If you need more reference take a look at this video.
How the Plague Started:
I have to give the Gotti Boys credit for this one. I'm sure the Gotti Boys took the dress, the attitude, and the ignorance from others, but they definatly coined the term and took it to an all new level of low.
The New Wigger Plague:
So what is a Guido?
Gui-do [gwee-doo]
-noun
An Italian American or any European-American claiming to be an Italian man usually residing in New York or New Jersey. He wears shirts that are too tight and unbuttoned 5 buttons too low to show off the chest that he spent hours and hours at the gym obtaining, he spends more time on his hair than his girlfriend, and continues to "hit the clubs" long into his mid to late 30's. Often attracted to the female version of himself, the guidette. (Urban Dictionary)
Many of you might be thinking; 'So what's the big deal? A group of adolecent man trying to find themselves by conforming to a reality TV show? Leave the poor lads alone!'
If that were the case there would not be such a debacle of videos, discussion boards, facebook groups, and an entire website with information surrounding the mordern guido.
The pastimes of Guidos often include, clubbing, getting their swell on at the gym, date rape (not that they ever get to go through with it, because of their love for Heniekins and jager bombs causing performance anxiety), and causing drama on public streets, they also enjoy HGH and muscle milk. Making them a nuisance to the public and also annoying.
How Can I Spot A Guido:
Guido's are usually rolling around in their supped up Hondas or BMW's. Well let's be honest, they really aren't BMW's they are probably cheap Dodge Neon's with 50 body kits and a BMW emblem. They are usually 'Name Brand Rip Off Whores', many of these brands include, Aramni Exchange, Dolci and Gabanna, and Louis Vutton. They wear large women sunglasses, the ones you frequently see on Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, they usually borrow them from their sister, more commenly termed a 'guidette'. You will never see a guido singular, they roll in packs like wolves of about 15-20 at a time, large enough to cause a ruckus and be laughed at, and large enough to scatter so they won't be caught by police for their antics. Guidos can always be found in the middle of a night clubs dance floor 'dancing' more commonly refered to as a demenstration of a sezuire. Lastly, They will always be styling their signature hair style 'The Blowout'.
How Can I Stop the Plague from Growing:
To stop the plague I think you should check out this website. They have much more knowledge and years of training in this specialist area than I do.
My only advice is for women to stop sleeping with these men. It gives them hope that they are a positive influence on women, and also gives us fear of offspring, these men aren't the brightest crayons in the box, failure to use a rubber is prominent.
9 comments:
Very interesting article. I usually spend my Saturday night watching cops... and I've seen these guys in the back of police cars all the time... why? Can't shut-up.
That's a very good question Ron. I've never actually seen a guido in the back seat of a cop car, but I can tell you right now, they aren't being arrested. The cops are probably protecting them from the real Italian who just beat the crap out of them because they start spitting out word vomit with big 'i'll kill you' threats.
This was very informative. I don't think I agree, however, with your assertion that "guidos" are typologically the same as "wiggers." Sounds to me like the latter are more like middle-class kids affecting mannerisms of the urban underclass whereas the former are, when all is said and done, closer to the underclass itself. At any rate, it's still a good piece. I enjoy reading your topics.
Fred,
To an extent you are correct, but if you ever watch the movie 'Malibu's Most Wanted' featuring Jamie Kennedy, it depicts a high class 'wigger'. 'Wiggers' come from all neck of the woods, primarily from the underclass, but a lot of guido's are also from the underclass, hence the rip off Armani Exchange and not real attire. The Gotti boys mearly made it a fashion statement to be a guido and the rest of New Jersey wiggers got on the banwagon.
This was very interesting. I enjoyed reading it and even showed a couple of my friends who've passed it down the line....they are even considering buying some shirts from that website. =]
Glad you enjoyed it and passed it along!!!
I might have a tattoo story for you soon!!
Oh that's awesome!
Do you know what you're going to get, or is it still in process?
I'm getting a bumper sticker inspired tattoo. Sound horendous, but it's gonna be really nice.
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