Thursday, February 21, 2008

"Definitely, Maybe." Rated PG-13 for sexual content including some frank dialogue, language and smoking




From the man who created Wimbledon, French Kiss, and Bridget Jones comes a new movie just as equally 'fluffy' in nature, Definitely Maybe.



Adam Brooks, we have seen better from you, but not by much.


Synopsis: Romantic comedy: Will Hayes, a 30-something Manhattan dad is in the midst of a divorce when his 10 year old daughter, Maya, starts to question him about his life before marriage. Maya wants to know absolutely everything about how her parents met and fell in love. Will's story begins in 1992, as a young, starry-eyed aspiring politician who moves to New York from Wisconsin in order to work on the Clinton campaign. For Maya, Will relives his past as a idealistic young man learning the ins and outs of big city politics, and recounts the history of his romantic relationships with three very different women. On the campaign, Will's best buddy is Russell McCormack. They not only have similar political aspirations, they share the same type of girl problems, too. Will hopelessly attempts a "PG" version of his story for his daughter ad changes the names so Maya has to guess who he finally married. Is her mother Will's college sweetheart, the dependable girl next-door Emily? Is she his longtime best friend and confidante, the apolitical April? Or is she the free-spirited but ambitious journalist,Summer? As Maya puts together the pieces of her dad's romantic puzzle, she begins to understand that love is not so simple or easy. And as Will tells her his tale, Maya helps him to understand that it's definitely never too late to go back...and maybe even possible to find a happy ending. (IMDb)


Overall I enjoyed the movie for what it was. Would I pay $9.75 to see it again or rent it on DVD for $4.50, No, but overall it fulfilled Valentine's Day (or Single Awareness Day) for me.


Warning Spoilers from here on in.


There were certain things that really irked me about the movie that made it hard to get into.


First it was released on Valentine's Day. The movie was good enough by itself that it didn't need to be paired up with a holiday invented by greeting card companies, there are plenty of adolescent teens willing to drag their boyfriends, guy friends, female friends, all kinds of friends, to see this romantic comedy. The first 10 minutes I was in stitches and the rest of the movie that followed, although typical, was not exactly original, but good.


The cast of characters were all really well picked my only complaint is with the character, Summer, the 'free spirited, ambitious journalist'. This was Will's (Ryan Reynolds) second love. After they break up he randomly bumps into her years later. She is pregnant and invites him to a party. All is good, but it's this encounter that made Summer unrealistic and very unbelievable, Summer went from a cut-throat, stab-you-in-the-back journalist to someone completely in owe of Will after minutes of friendly conversation. After Will agrees to go to her shin dig she starts walking away then turns around and shouts with enthusiastic surprise 'William Hayes!'. Alright Brooky baby, was that really necessary? What did that do for the character development? Nothing! She was a very unique individual in the beginning and by the end she's a blubbering gooey mess of pregnant female?


The movie opens with Will walking down a street to pick up his daughter at school. Apparently that day at school was the Sexual Education part of the curriculum, otherwise known as 'The Talk'. While all the other kids are demanding answers from their parents and expressing their disgust at sex, Maya (Abigail Breslin) wants to know the story of how her parents met? Seriously Brooks, come on! After that talk I couldn't look at my parents for a month, let alone want to know how they met and the sordid tales of my father's love life! Unbelievable at it's best. So after giving in to Maya's demands Will starts his story beginning with the Bill Clinton campaign for president.


Okay, this might be a little far fetched, but go with me here. Will works on the Clinton campaign and yada he wins YAY!, but Bill stays with us all the way until the end. The movie even shows clips of his impeachment because of the affairs with Monica Lewinsky. I think it's a little coincidental that this movie comes out during Hillary's campaign. Adam Brooks are you a supporter of Obama?


And my last complaint, the anti-smoking regime. I don't smoke and I don't support smoking, but since when did movies start smacking down on smoking? Didn't smoking get its start in the movies? Citizen Kane was a smoke fest, as was The Maltese Falcon, and Stagecoach. So where am I going with this. While Will is working on the Clinton campaign he goes into a shop to buy cigarettes where April is also there buying cigarettes, this is where Maya interupts the story and says; 'I can't believe you smoked!'. Then later in the movie Will bumps into April and the first thing out of his mouth is 'Did you quit smoking?' They both did. Since when did Truth have enough money to start blasting their commercials in A-List Hollywood movies?











Thursday, February 14, 2008

Stop Hating on the Guido...Skank You Just Jealous






The New Wigger Plague? Maybe.




Your first question might be, what is a Guido? If you think I'm refering to your typical Italian immigrant you are wrong. I am far too non-racist to ever call an Italian a Guido, after all I'd be calling myself one as well.




The Modern Day Guido that is plaguing the New York/New Jersey Tri-state area and starting to catch wind in Connecticut, is what I will call 'The New Wigger Plague'.




Background:




In the late 90's the term 'wigger' was coined.


Definition: A male caucasion, usually born and raised in the suburbs that displays a strong desire to emulate African American Hip Hop culture and style through "bling" fashion and generally accepted "thug life" guiding principles. (Urban Dictionary)




If you need more reference take a look at this video.




How the Plague Started:








I have to give the Gotti Boys credit for this one. I'm sure the Gotti Boys took the dress, the attitude, and the ignorance from others, but they definatly coined the term and took it to an all new level of low.







The New Wigger Plague:


So what is a Guido?


Gui-do [gwee-doo]

-noun


An Italian American or any European-American claiming to be an Italian man usually residing in New York or New Jersey. He wears shirts that are too tight and unbuttoned 5 buttons too low to show off the chest that he spent hours and hours at the gym obtaining, he spends more time on his hair than his girlfriend, and continues to "hit the clubs" long into his mid to late 30's. Often attracted to the female version of himself, the guidette. (Urban Dictionary)



Many of you might be thinking; 'So what's the big deal? A group of adolecent man trying to find themselves by conforming to a reality TV show? Leave the poor lads alone!'


If that were the case there would not be such a debacle of videos, discussion boards, facebook groups, and an entire website with information surrounding the mordern guido.


The pastimes of Guidos often include, clubbing, getting their swell on at the gym, date rape (not that they ever get to go through with it, because of their love for Heniekins and jager bombs causing performance anxiety), and causing drama on public streets, they also enjoy HGH and muscle milk. Making them a nuisance to the public and also annoying.



How Can I Spot A Guido:


Guido's are usually rolling around in their supped up Hondas or BMW's. Well let's be honest, they really aren't BMW's they are probably cheap Dodge Neon's with 50 body kits and a BMW emblem. They are usually 'Name Brand Rip Off Whores', many of these brands include, Aramni Exchange, Dolci and Gabanna, and Louis Vutton. They wear large women sunglasses, the ones you frequently see on Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, they usually borrow them from their sister, more commenly termed a 'guidette'. You will never see a guido singular, they roll in packs like wolves of about 15-20 at a time, large enough to cause a ruckus and be laughed at, and large enough to scatter so they won't be caught by police for their antics. Guidos can always be found in the middle of a night clubs dance floor 'dancing' more commonly refered to as a demenstration of a sezuire. Lastly, They will always be styling their signature hair style 'The Blowout'.




How Can I Stop the Plague from Growing:


To stop the plague I think you should check out this website. They have much more knowledge and years of training in this specialist area than I do.


My only advice is for women to stop sleeping with these men. It gives them hope that they are a positive influence on women, and also gives us fear of offspring, these men aren't the brightest crayons in the box, failure to use a rubber is prominent.












Thursday, February 7, 2008

Is Day Care Ruining the Children?


To daycare or not to daycare.


It's a dilemma most working parents will face.


I work at a gymnastics facility which added on a daycare many years ago. The daycare has about 75-100 children ages 0-12 years. It is my responsibility to teach the 3-6 year olds gymnastics once a week for 30 minutes. I'm starting to think this type of activity is useless to the child and more of a break for the classroom 'teachers'.


After working with these children for half a year I've started asking myself 'Is day care really right for kids?' Personally I've never had to make that critical decision because I have no children, but I think with my experience I can offer some two sense.


Day Care IS a great outlet for the working parent. Placing your child in the hands of trained care givers and with other children seems like the right thing to do. Your child will get social and will learn ahead of other children. There's no doubt in that. Children in daycares will learn more things ahead of the time. I recently observed a test screening of a four year old. She was reading at a 1st grade level, I was amazed! A good day care will put you child ahead of the gang.

But is day care really right? Personally I was always left in the care of a family member or a nanny. And after the lash of shaken babies and creepy touchy nannies many people don't want to go that route. I don't blame you. But from what I've seen I wouldn't put my child in a daycare.

Not only are the children sick constently, they are also more prone to
behavioral issues lasting until 6th grade! Teaching these children has put my nerves on end. I understand all children will test their limits to an extent, but many of these children don't know what limits are because of the many different types of disciplinarians they are with daily. At home the child is disciplined one way, in the day care with one teacher another, and with another day care person another. These children don't know if 'acting up' will put them in a time out, be told that the person is going to count to three, or be totally ignored.

After reading the
study I think the best advice for people considering daycare, is to find one, observe it, and make a decision based on your gut. Many people call a daycare asking if they have room and drop their kid off the next day. Don’t do that, inspect the daycare, see if you like the care givers, see if your child likes the care givers, I mean after all they are they are the ones who will be there at max 5 days a week for 40-50hours.

Remember you think your workday is long; think about your child, they are at daycare before you even get to work! Many of these kids are tired by noon; try to keep your child’s day care time at a minimum. From my experience the children who are there less than 30 hours a week have the least behavioral issues.

There are pros and cons for the daycare experience, the learning pros might outweigh the behavioral cons for many, but in the end it’s up to you. Choose wisely, it’s up to 6th grade, that’s when puberty starts!







Saturday, February 2, 2008

Parson Brown




Somedays I wonder why my mind wanders.

'In the meadow we can build a snowman then pretend that he is Parson Brown'
If you answered: 'Walking In A Winter Wonderland' YOU'RE RIGHT! Unfortuanalty you don't win anything, because I'm a poor college student and there was no question.

So who IS Parson Brown?! We sing about him/her every year but does anyone REALLY, I mean REALLY know who it is?!

I ask around and no one knows. So I decided to do some hard hitting investigating. GOOGLE! I find the answer on
www.urbandictionary.com (plug)

I'll copy paste the answer:


"
Parson Brown" is the term used to talk about a typical angelican priest of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. "Parson Brown" is not an actual person (though he might have been at some time), but a figure of speech, like "John Doe" is an unidentified male and "Charley" is a watchman. "Parson" by itself means minister.


The classic line from Winter Wonderland:"In the meadow we can build a snowman Then pretend that he is Parson Brown He'll say 'Are you married ?', We'll say 'No man, For you can do the job when you're in town.'

Sure, it sounds like some kind of sexual reference, but its not. It's just a priest asking a couple if they are married. They reply that they are not and that they will wait for him to "do the job" of marrying them when he comes to their town.

Mystery Sloved!

Friday, February 1, 2008

'Goal!'


I rented a movie out of boredness and unlike many people I LOVE watching the previews. As I'm watching the previews a preview for a movie called 'Goal!' comes on.


Quick Synoposis: Mexican-American living in the Barrios section of Los Angeles with some awesome skills for my favorite game, football (soccer for Americans). Newcastle United offers him a trial, he goes over to England, and becomes a football player. If you want to know more check out http://www.imdb.com/ (plug). There's also a sequal Goal II: Living the Dream.


This movie came out in England while I lived there and let me tell you America and England have marketed this movie in two very different ways.

In America the trailer is all about the lead being the under dog, trying to catch a break, growing up in poverty, how he makes it, he gets his chance, WHOO HOO the American Dream, the self made man, rags to riches.


In England, sex, sex, parties, sex, parties AND more SEX! The trailer for the English movie goer starts off with the lead character in, what appears to be, a large orgy. Then cuts to his coaches/trainers scolding him because he is not focused on the game and cares more about getting 'some' and spending lavish amounts of money on nothing.

When I was in England I had no intentions of EVER viewing the movie, but while watching the American trailor I thought I might rent it, until I found out it was the same movie I swore off in England.


America and that dream of ours.