Showing posts with label Guidos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guidos. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Yesterday and Today


As a birthday present I received tickets to a show entitled 'Yesterday and Today' at the Seven Angels Theatre in Waterbury, CT. The show is a tribute to The Beatles. As an avid Beatles fan I was and wasn't looking forward to the experience of watching some hasbens perform some of the best written, composed and performed pieces of music. I was looking forward for the music to be sung and performed live and I wasn't excited to listen to someone butcher the music. I went into the performance with an open mind and was blown off my feet. Not only was the performance amazing, it was also something that I never experienced before.

The friend who got my the tickets, bartends at the Theatre, so I got there a little early and was able to observe theatre people working before the show. Let me just tell you, it was intense. Not only were they changing lights that I didn't even notice where out, they were matching up the running carpets to a T and moving easels a millimeter at a time to find the perfect spot. All that tedious work paid off though because the foyer looked great.

The box office workers were nuts, not only were they bribing me for my drink (which I never received) they were dancing crazy later in the show. The wine servers were interesting to say the least. Nice ladies, but I couldn't tell if they were super Italian or wannabe Italians
(Guidettes), I avoided them for most of the night, I can't be associated with Guidos
.

I also had the privilege of listening to the band rehearse. I wasn't too impressed by the rehearsal, they did an awesome cover of Tom Petty's American Girl. It was pretty stellar.

After the house opened I was ushered to my seat. I was the first person in the theatre, I felt like I had a big L on my head, but I was stoked, I wanted to see the show, plus with my friend behind the bar, I looked like an outcast standing by myself hugging my coat. I became the Usher's confidant. After about 15 minutes people started strolling in, a few at first then a few more, and after every seating the usher had a few words to say about the people he ushered, one story imparticular had me in stitches; the usher seated a man directly behind a bald man, the non-bald man said to the usher, 'Can I sit somewhere else, because his shiny head is going to distract me'. The things people say when they've had one too many martinis.

The curtain was open before the show started, the set design didn't grab me, it looked like a bunch of high school kids painted it for their version of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat. I learned to love it later in the show with the amazing lighting.

I was seated directly behind the drummers teenage son, he was a cool kid, although he was air playing the drums the whole show which was kind of annoying.

The Show:

The show was amazing. It was just a band singing the art of the Beatles, it was an all request audience interaction show. Prior to the show there were baskets and ballots where you would fill in your name, the Beatles song you wanted to hear play, and the reason why. I requested For the Benefit or Mr. Kite, Happiness is a Warm Gun, and I Want You. Before the band would play the show they would read the names, ask you to identify yourself and then read of your reason why. Their were lots of laughs and red faces in the audience. The house lights were up for the non-singing part of the show and it made it much more intimate.

After the opening number was over the band introduced themselves and told the audience how the show would play out. Then the show really took off, the first half was pretty mellow, and the audience loved the interaction. The lead singers Billy McGuigan, Matthew McGuigan and Jeff Tuohy told the audience about their lives, their interests and love for the Beatles.

Billy and Matt were military brats, instead of going to the movies on the weekend they stayed in and their father would pull out Beatles records and guitars. They said the wouldn't thank the academy for any award they may receive they would thank government cheese. Because closed the first half of the show and the McGuigan's dedicated it to their father who died at the age of 42 to Leukemia.

Jeff Tuohy is from Southbury, and he didn't elaborate much about his background mostly because the McGuigan's joked the entire time that he grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth, and if you're from CT you will agree.

The whole show was amazing, but a few numbers need to be talked about individually. Jeff Tuohy's rendition of I Am The Walrus, was amazing. He didn't sound like Lennon he sounds more like Bono's version of the song, sung for the 2007 movie Across the Universe.

Billy sang Oh, Darling and it sent chills up my spine. Not only did he hit all the right notes but the emotion was there as well making it that much more believable.

Matt sang A Day in a Life. At first I didn't think he would be capable of doing it, but the boy can sing people. I felt like I was at an actual Beatles show. Okay lets not go that far, but it was pretty darn close.

Right before the closing my request was played. (SCREECH!) Happiness is a Warm Gun was sung by Jeff, and he did an awesome job, he sang the hell out of the song. After the performance I got to meet Jeff and he personally thanked me for requesting it. I guess they don't get a lot of requests for it.

Come Together was the last song of the evening.

The show went over and the performers never lost energy. It was high intensity and mind blowing.

The last show is the 30th. I recommend that you go see it!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Stop Hating on the Guido...Skank You Just Jealous






The New Wigger Plague? Maybe.




Your first question might be, what is a Guido? If you think I'm refering to your typical Italian immigrant you are wrong. I am far too non-racist to ever call an Italian a Guido, after all I'd be calling myself one as well.




The Modern Day Guido that is plaguing the New York/New Jersey Tri-state area and starting to catch wind in Connecticut, is what I will call 'The New Wigger Plague'.




Background:




In the late 90's the term 'wigger' was coined.


Definition: A male caucasion, usually born and raised in the suburbs that displays a strong desire to emulate African American Hip Hop culture and style through "bling" fashion and generally accepted "thug life" guiding principles. (Urban Dictionary)




If you need more reference take a look at this video.




How the Plague Started:








I have to give the Gotti Boys credit for this one. I'm sure the Gotti Boys took the dress, the attitude, and the ignorance from others, but they definatly coined the term and took it to an all new level of low.







The New Wigger Plague:


So what is a Guido?


Gui-do [gwee-doo]

-noun


An Italian American or any European-American claiming to be an Italian man usually residing in New York or New Jersey. He wears shirts that are too tight and unbuttoned 5 buttons too low to show off the chest that he spent hours and hours at the gym obtaining, he spends more time on his hair than his girlfriend, and continues to "hit the clubs" long into his mid to late 30's. Often attracted to the female version of himself, the guidette. (Urban Dictionary)



Many of you might be thinking; 'So what's the big deal? A group of adolecent man trying to find themselves by conforming to a reality TV show? Leave the poor lads alone!'


If that were the case there would not be such a debacle of videos, discussion boards, facebook groups, and an entire website with information surrounding the mordern guido.


The pastimes of Guidos often include, clubbing, getting their swell on at the gym, date rape (not that they ever get to go through with it, because of their love for Heniekins and jager bombs causing performance anxiety), and causing drama on public streets, they also enjoy HGH and muscle milk. Making them a nuisance to the public and also annoying.



How Can I Spot A Guido:


Guido's are usually rolling around in their supped up Hondas or BMW's. Well let's be honest, they really aren't BMW's they are probably cheap Dodge Neon's with 50 body kits and a BMW emblem. They are usually 'Name Brand Rip Off Whores', many of these brands include, Aramni Exchange, Dolci and Gabanna, and Louis Vutton. They wear large women sunglasses, the ones you frequently see on Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, they usually borrow them from their sister, more commenly termed a 'guidette'. You will never see a guido singular, they roll in packs like wolves of about 15-20 at a time, large enough to cause a ruckus and be laughed at, and large enough to scatter so they won't be caught by police for their antics. Guidos can always be found in the middle of a night clubs dance floor 'dancing' more commonly refered to as a demenstration of a sezuire. Lastly, They will always be styling their signature hair style 'The Blowout'.




How Can I Stop the Plague from Growing:


To stop the plague I think you should check out this website. They have much more knowledge and years of training in this specialist area than I do.


My only advice is for women to stop sleeping with these men. It gives them hope that they are a positive influence on women, and also gives us fear of offspring, these men aren't the brightest crayons in the box, failure to use a rubber is prominent.